Canadians are evil. Why, they’re practically French. And besides, look at Heather, who is clearly trying to put me in the poorhouse by pointing out the existence of the Pen Cam. Also, they’ve cornered the market on stand-up comedians. I don’t think we ought to let them on the good ole’ American Internet anymore.

They even call their currency "dollars," despite the fact that it obviously has no value. Evil. More proof? Corel. Nothing gets my xenophobia goin’ like the Canadians.