It’s incredibly cold, and I wanted to experience some of the futuristic convenience that the web promises to deliver (literally), so I went to Kozmo.com and got the following message:

Due to inclement weather and excessive order volumes the site will be down until 9:30 p.m.

And then on to UrbanFetch, where the top of the site read:

To process existing orders in a safe and efficient manner, Urbanfetch will only accept orders for delivery after 10:30 PM today. Thank you for your patience.

Not as bad, but still unsatisfactory. Way to go, losers.