Clearly, there is some bizarre behavior that I'm not privvy to which requires travelers to make use of vast quantities of ice.
I don't have a particularly pronounced need for frozen water in my life. But I've been staying in hotels a lot of late, and apparently the most important accommodation a hotel or motel can afford you is ice. In nice hotels, the bellhop puts your suitcase on the little suitcase stand and offers to get you ice. In regular hotels, the person who checks you in at the front desk (do hotels have a back desk?) tells you where the ice machine is on your floor. In motels, a sign tells you.
What the hell are people doing with all this ice? We had a party for almost thirty people a few weeks ago and though I bought a bag of ice for all the drinks, we didn't even end up using all the ice cubes that are normally in my freezer. That entire bag of ice is still sitting unused in the freezer, forlorn and frigid.
But I stayed alone in a hotel for one night and the person who checked me in explained to me where I could fill my ice bucket. That's almost a gallon of ice, and I'd only have had about 12 hours in which to make use of it. And the stuff starts melting instantly, so I'd actually have to burn through the entire bucket of cubes in about 4 hours, by my calculations. I'd get stressed out just figuring out the logistics of utilizing all that coldness.
I'm somewhat convinced that other people are doing nefarious things with ice while on the road. They're away from home, in an unfamiliar environment, and they're behaving out of character. They're participating in dark and sordid criminal acts they'd never indulge in at home, like consorting with prostitutes or paying $3.50 for a can of Coke from the minibar or, presumably, doing unspeakable things that require vast quantities of frozen water.
The most unnervingly creepy part of the lodging industry's obsession with ice is the sheer intensity of it all. There's a total focus on the Ice Experience. If I'm away from home, there are obviously accoutrements of home which I miss. My non-travel-sized toothpaste. Bagels from the place on my block. The rice cooker. But I don't even
And really, it's so arbitrary. Why not other ice-related accessories? Clearly, they can't give you an ice pick because the rules of Clue clearly state that the presence of an ice pick in a hotel with a ballroom would unfortunately require you to commit a murder, just to keep things moving along in the game. But there are devices designed to crush ice, why not that? How about a nice cooler for a six-pack, in case the urge to tailgate strikes you. (Editor's Note: "Urge to Tailgate" might actually be a Steven Seagal film.)
As long as we're throwing arbitrary home accessories in with our hotel stays, how 'bout something even more esoteric? Let's have an eggbeater in every room. "The eggbeater's next to the bed, and you'll find the egg-dispensing machine by the elevators. Enjoy your stay." Upscale places could have a live chicken in a dumbwaiter, its ass hanging out for the convenience of those guests who prefer the freshest eggs possible.
I shouldn't complain, I suppose. There's clearly some inexplicable but well-intentioned motivation inspiring all of this ritualistic ice advocacy. And we certainly have some dumber traditions surrounding the hospitality industry, many of which are probably based on needs that arose back when travel was difficult, dangerous, and slow. But given that the whole purpose of these places is to put a roof over your head to keep you warm and dry, they sure do spend an awful lot of time and effort trying to get you to accept something that's cold and wet.
HAHAHA. Pretty funny Anil. :)
Perhaps it's because you live up north, where "keeping your beer cold" means "sticking it out the window".
You can't do that in Huntsville, Alabama.
Oddly enough, last time I was in your area [damn trips cut short so I actually have to work, heh], I was there for four days and never heard the ice mentioned once. Never got any, either. Thought about it a couple of times [there wasn't a room refrigerator, which for the price my company paid for that room was kinda disappointing], but the need was never great enough to actually grab the ice bucket and make a jaunt.
Of course, at home, ice does not last long. I drink iced water almost obssessively.
Still ... I find the "ice pushing" to be a bit amusing as well.
It seems to be a peculiar American fascination. When I moved over to the UK from South Africa, I spent 10 months before I went off to university working in a hotel in the middle of nowhere. It was a converted manor house and during the quiet season, they tended to bring in coachloads of pensioners, many from further North (the hotel was in the midlands), but every so often a host of American over 60s would stop by.
Since the hotel itself had only one ice machine (and from my one stay in a Californian hotel, our machine that did for the entire hotel with its 9 bars was smaller than the one that hotel seemed to have on every floor), so when every single one of these Americans would come and ask for an ice-bucket and the location of the ice-machine, it got complicated. We ended up handing out pint glasses full of ice. They were not amused and nor was the bar manager when he came in the next morning to find we'd killed the ice machine again.
I figured it was just one of those strange American things. Thanks for reassuring me that you're not _all_ so crazy, Anil ;-)
I'm just amazed you managed to write so much on the subject..
I was in AZ last week and I used the ice machine quite frequently. And it wasn't even hot! Staying over an extended period of time made the $1.25 bottles in the machine outrageous. Maybe from downing 4 a day.... but 2 liters in the fridge with my little bucket of ice were life savers.
"What the hell are people doing with all this ice? "
It's to keep the kidneys cold. I thought everyone knew that.... ;-)
I'm sure this comment is going to get deleted, but I just have to mention a certain time with your author (Anil, not me) got locked out of his hotel room after going looking for ice to chill his milk he was going to use for his cereal.
Take that motherfucker.
In Movable Type 3.0, we'll be featuring new functionality that makes it much easier to block abusive or hurtful commenters.
Just reading your post made me cold. Brrrr...
Anil, the next time you check into a hotel or motel, ask the desk clerk for a room closest to the ice machine. Then, you'll know what we know. Join us. Don't be afraid. We'll be waiting for you. Muahaha...
I am going along with the kidney thing.
:)
love the way you narrated American fascination with 'coldness' ;)
here is why i use the ice machine:
a. i prefer my drinks with ice whether i'm at a hotel or not
b. the majority of mini-bars are barely below room temperature
c. i usually bring my own drinks because i can't bear to pay anywhere from $1.75 to $5.00 for a coke. (yes, i actually stayed at a hotel in nyc that had $5.00 cans of coke)
Does a tree falling in a forest...
Hey Anil, do you have comment notification turned on? Like, if I have some really insightful comment on one of your old entries, would you know?
Because, like, I have some insightful and/or witty things to say but I don't want to be wasting my time putting them up if nobody's going to read them
Good lord! The ice is not for sticking *in* your drink. I hope you don't stick communal ice in your mouth! Since you aren't going to be sticking that ice in your drink, you need to chill your bottles of champagne *before* pouring, and that takes a lot more ice. Some hotels have proper bottle chillers, but otherwise you end up going through a lot of ice while chilling your wine (or sixpacks in the bathtub, depending on your preferences).
Many people, especially seniors, need to keep their prescription medicines like insulin cool. Many travel with coolers that need lots of ice. It's not a conspiracy.
It is alleged that ice can be used during sexual foreplay/intercourse to add a "frisson", as well as delaying, even enhancing orgasm. Works on nipples too. Maybe the volume of ice you mention is excessive though
What I like to do with the ice in the ice bucket is let it melt and then use that to drink rather than the lukewarm piss water that comes from the bathroom sink.
that's one idea.
But what i hate is you usually have to walk a mile and a half down the hall to get it. You might as well walk to the grocery store and get the "real deal."
I love how everyone is so determined to squelch your curiousity about the ice with their logical uses and applications for it. They're just party poopers, crushing your innocence and destroying your childlike scrutiny of mundane daily observations. Don't listent o them. Damn them all.
I learned early on in my travels to always request a room away from the elevator and the ice machine...too much all night noise.
If anyone owns a boat, or has worked at a marina there's the exact same predicament with ice. People on boats NEED it so they can make frozen alcoholic slushy drinks. (Since they're too rich to know the value of frozen water, they'll pay too much for it. The boatyard I worked at charged $2.5 for a stupid bag and it practically went flying out of the ice cooler.)
I've also cleaned rooms at a hotel and people leave buckets of ice in a room - WITH A REFRIGERATOR. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW USELESS THIS IS. I AM SO ANGRY. I HATE ICE. This post was pointless. Good article.
The Google Ads present on this comment page further demonstrate the American Obs-ice-cion!!
The ice thing makes sense in motels; roadtrippers get to refresh their Igloo coolers. How it caught on in upscale hotels is clearly beyond explanation.
It's also useful for keeping your restaurant doggie bag cool in non-fridge-equipped rooms.
We like to get ice at hotels to keep our 12 or so bottles of Pepsi cold and to put into our glasses once we pour the Pepsi. And to keep stuff like chocolate bars from melting in the Florida heat.. or the Atlantic City heat.. or the California heat.. you get the idea. Ice is good.
Contrary to what Meri said I, a South African, know all about the ice thing. 6 bags for a party of 12 the other night and I had to dash out near the end to get some more. In your drink, keeping your drinks cool and storing kidneys.
Up north in Zimbabwe we would go through massive blocks of the stuff keeping our Zambezi lagers cool in 40 degree heat while on the lake fishing.
The ice thing makes sense in motels; roadtrippers get to refresh their Igloo coolers. How it caught on in upscale hotels is clearly beyond explanation.