Obsolescence of Happenstance

We bypass the intermediaries when it's efficient for us to do so, but we also have more efficient ways to interact with random people: strangers on ICQ, Friendster, new people stumbling onto a particular mailing list or IRC channel (the party lines of the future!).

So I think the number of "weak ties" is probably relatively unchanged; the difference is just that now we get our weak ties from venues where we know and *expect* them, versus getting them forced upon us while trying to reach our "strong ties." (Whether this foreknowledge changes the nature of weak ties is still up for debate.)

Some people do feel the lack of random interactions and go out of their way to remedy the situation. They talk to people on trains, standing in bus stops, start conversations in pubs, in waiting rooms at interviews, in lecture halls when they should be listening rather than talking. Perhaps now it just needs a little more effort to achieve those random interactions. In fact, this might be a defining social factor in the brave new world you describe, Anil. Or possibly we'll all just remain in our silos and attend networking parties (not in the geek sense). Bleugh.

I am sensing - at least in a part of my social circle - that there is a realization of this loss; and a realization that being contactable at any time is not necessarily a good thing. My mobile phone is now being used as an answering machine, the home phone does not have CLI, and slipping into a public phone (especially in London) is cool.

What about when I'm at the reception desk and do my normal, "Good morning, (Company Name)," and the person on the other end of the phone is the president of the companies wife and says, "Oh! it's the man with the sexy voice!" Yikes.

Yeah, I think you have to just start talking to random people in your life. Of course, I hear that's not a good idea in NYC. :shrug: But maybe that person's wanting someone to talk to as well, Anil.

I find that while I do not meet people in business contexts as randomly as in the past, that the increasing trend of working (as I am at the moment) from Cafes such as Starbucks is one small gesture against this trend.

Just a few minutes ago, in fact, having concluded a meeting with an outside sales person who works for me, I've met a woman seated next to us who is a musician, her husband and partner works upstairs from this particular Starbucks in a large consulting firm.

Likewise, there does seem to be a growing trend towards networking events and other opportunities for meeting and interacting, but it does not diminish the overall trend away from interactions with places vs. people that Anil highlights.

Worth thinking about. Thanks!

Serendipity will make a comeback after we start communicating directly with the environment.

Going out of your way to interact with strangers in person is getting harder as well. The increasing number of walkmans, iPods, MP3 players and laptops with headphones screams out to passersby, "Leave me alone. I'm busy."

I don't lament the end of random interactions. Then again, I work in customer service and you'd be surprised by the number of lovely customers that make the simple process of contacting their intended party a difficult task.

*sigh*

I'd agree that we've cut some random chance out of our lives, though online communities add that randomness back in for those who choose to access a computer. Still, I'd say that many folks aren't in that category.

There's yet another circle of randomness I've seen here (I live in Shanghai at the moment) brought about by technical necessity... the need to use a phone. Everyone has a cell phone, but when you're supposed to meet someone and your battery gave out or you forgot your phone, then you may approach several people you don't know in order to get in touch with the person you're supposed to be finding. I've met a few really neat friends through these circumstances.

The other one (strangely enough) is a friend who is a taxi driver. Why? Because once I left my phone in his cab and tracked him down by the taxi receipt.

Both blogging and IRC inherently cannot be targeted easily towards a single individual, and have a history of serendipitous events.

Blogging, and all of the inter-linking and diversity of views that results, has been directly responsible directly for helping me converse spontaneously with individuals whom I otherwise would never have known were interesting.

IRC, and all of the diversity of personalities that join in, has been for years a cornerstone of my social life. There I first learned how to strike up conversations with those who I do not know, triggering many, many encounters over the years that otherwise I would be a different person without.

Once the cell phone providers start releasing social location-aware software, a whole new field of serendipity opens up, with the possibility of pre-filtering. Not interested in dealing with strangers? Set your phone to "Friends-only" and you fade off the radar of the strangers around you. Looking for a date? Set your phone to "Seek available partners", and smile as it chimes every so often when someone you might be interested in walks into range.

I currently live my life without a cell phone, forcing serendipity into my daily, real life. The consequences have been varied and not all positive; I can say with a clean conscience, however, that I've thoroughly enjoyed them.

Serendipity will make a comeback, the same as online journals and bell bottoms; in the meantime, I offer you the memory of our first meeting at ETcon: pure serendipity, as I had no idea who you were until we struck up conversation -- and then suddenly it turned out you were this really cool person. Well met, by serendipity :)

Ronn: I've found that using my powerbook on the public transit system results in a lot more conversations with strangers than I have otherwise, headphones or not. There's several trips now where I've removed the headphones to talk to someone for the next twenty minutes. I think it's because I make eye contact with them and smile and then *take off the headphones*, which seems to be a rather key step in appearing willing to converse. Depending on my mood, though, I'll leave them on, after smiling back; it varies.

Frienster != chemistry. Try putting some pheremones in your profile.

This is how I feel about the MP3 explosion. There's something to be said about the (relative) uncertainty in what's going to play next on the radio; and though you don't always like every song on an album, inevitably you will come across a song you wouldn't have heard, only because you bought the album. The targetability of experience, and the compulsion to target rather than drift, seems to be a consequence of technology somewhat untouched upon.

There is still tremendous serendipity via inadvertent Reply All on emails, misspellings on hotmail type addresses, long CC lists on forwards and so forth. That doesn't even count all the serendipitous meetings via comments in weblogs, with the blog-owner (or comments readers) saying, "hmmm... that person sure sounds interesting..."

We are becoming socialized in a ground of new orality, and hence are losing awareness of some of the effects that we are now ignoring (that we didn't ignore when we, as a society, were primarily socialized in literacy.)

I agree with the general point being made, although I question whether anybody ever accomplished anything of significance as a result of the "may I tell him who's calling" filter.

The serendipitous meetings are still there to be found. Just recently I learned all about the ladies who clean my office.

This is how I feel about the MP3 explosion...

Also not directly relevant to the topic at hand...

I feel the same about online bookstores. I absolutely love the features that Amazon offers for finding new things (i.e,. others who bought this also bought..., lists, etc.), but miss the extreme randomness of browsing in a bookstore or library. Trade-offs....

Good thread. When your phone number was associated with your house, people understood when they called and you weren't there. Now that the number is associated with *you*, and people know that you could have your phone with you at any time, it's more likely that they'll hold a failure to contact you against you.

Are we wiring the world or is it wiring us?

Interesting thought, but I don't think it works out (in England at least). Incidental and random encounters with people seems to stay relatively the same. As Aaron says, there are a lot of technical options now available to meet random strangers, and lets not forget the every useful 'night out'.

New communication technology has let us be selective when we do and when whe do not want random encouters. I think it all works out pretty well.

My view is fairly simple, being one that combines wanderlust with serendipity.

People talk of the "need" to talk to strangers - just so that they feel better (perhaps they think they engage their coolness!) and so they are not blocked by daily routine. This is because they are inadequate. I feel naturally obliged to find my random hole to dig and I enjoy it - maybe its just the way I was raised.

In East Africa when I was young, I dressed up in the morning to walk across the red mud and buy milk in tetra paks. Patting a passing dog would induce a chat and funnily enough, I would know the dog and its owner. By the time I was leaving the kiosk, I'd be "dibbing" a football - getting ready for the fresh day. Natural human discourse, the way of being. It IS lost but those that know it - keep it alive, like you. To be quite honest, I wish it was the 1960's right now, and there wasn't any weblogs, just typewriters.

I listen to people around me sometimes - they think they are a real success - who knows, 10 A grades, etc. They work their ass of for 50 weeks a year to buy a 2 week holiday to Mauritius. But little do they realise that those guys working in the sugar plantations in Mauritius are some of the happiest people that side of the planet. Their values are different. If you choose the values you have, you face the music of superficial days.

And I wish I helped around jobs all the time - working on a ship in crisp white linen or serving ice-creams in an old food joint with a vinyl jukebox! Everything else is balls for simpleton. Despite this, I am finishing my Computer Science degree, starting a business Id be HAPPY WITH and then retiring to the sea.

Lament all you want - I'm just glad I no longer have to deal with people "not getting the message." Now they need a more creative excuse to blow me off.

As for the MP3 revolution, there's an easy way to add relative uncertainty to what you are listening to: buy a 40 GB iPod and hit "random."

this phenomenon is investigated by Malcolm Gladwell in his book The Tipping Point. He calls people who are excellent in mastering the concept of the "weak tie" as CONNECTORS. Although the book outlines the role of such people in the spread of epidemics, there are many other things that CONNECTORS do, the most obvious thing is to be facilitators of social interactions.

veramente fantastico pessimoelemento

I've found that using my powerbook on the public transit system results in a lot more conversations with strangers than I have otherwise, headphones or not. There's several trips now where I've removed the headphones to talk to someone for the next twenty minutes. I think it's because I make eye contact with them and smile and then *take off the headphones*, which seems to be a rather key step in appearing willing to converse. Depending on my mood, though, I'll leave them on, after smiling back; it varies.