mental illness

Zoloft is a close friend of mine. I second Anil's message; don't let the stigma of mental illness stop you from getting help. Life really is too good to waste feeling hopeless. While I was in the midst of depression I would have totally discounted that statement about life being good. On this side of recovery I can't emphasis that point enough. Even if you don't think treatment will help you, give it a shot anyway. Hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised.

Anil, so well spoken. Really...

I battled depression for years earlier in my life. 2000 was one of the worst years for me and I wish to God that I had had the balls or perhaps the desire to write about it more. Unfortunately I was only free to do so after I battled it all back into the deep dark hole where it belongs.

But one thing I have found is this: writing about those experiences (even if only in retrospect) was tremendously helpful to others who were going through the same thing. That's what's really wonderful about this thing we call the Innernet... ;-)

Public writing is indeed theraputic, even in anonimity.

hey. as one who has grappled with mental illness myself, i really appreciated this post. thanks. :)

I loved that entry Anil. I had to preserve part of it in my own blog...Thanks.

I know this isn't the focus of the post...but really:

A significantly new medium with a global reach that has had the input of women and people of color as peers since its founding

Huh? Forget about the ridiculous "people of color" term - which groups all 5 billion non-whites under one patronizing umbrella - for just one second.

This rationale only flies if you define "women involved" as "women in largely nontechnical positions" and "people of color" as "Indian and Chinese engineers".

I'm sorry dude, but it's just wishful thinking to state that blacks, Hispanics, or women were significant players in the internet since its founding . The argument that women are significant contributors to the internet is more credible today as internet access filters down to the masses, but I still think that the black/Hispanic influence on the web is pretty small...

My comments were about the weblog medium, not the Internet in general. I'm curious what you thought of the larger point of what I wrote.

Well, I think that on the one hand it's good that people are acknowledging that (real) mental illness is fundamentally biochemical. This is another step towards the inevitable dam break - whether it be 5 or 10 or 20 years from now - when we acknowledge the primacy of biology/genetics in determining behavior.

On the other hand, I think that much fuss is made over mental illnesses that really aren't illnesses. There's a lot of predator-prey stuff going on, as there are incentives for faking mental illness successfully. It starts with increased testing time in high school, and moves to things like coverage by the ADA act and reduced penalties for violent crimes.

(Predator-prey meaning that those who seek an advantage will keep chasing the moving prey...)

Effexor XR is my best friend. :)

Dooce had an interesting post the other day about a similar topic...

Very interesting topic. I look forward to following it.

what a great post, Anil.

i totally relate to the concept of weblogging as a healing and connecting mechanism -- i started writing the one I'm known for in January, when I was so burdened by depression that I would burst into tears before getting out of bed in the morning to go to work. i called in sick two days in a row, sat in my pajamas with an HTML book in my lap, and lost myself in figuring out how things worked. those days were great! the fruits of my labor were right there in front of me, and i made a place for myself in brand new world.

cheers to you for getting the word out. i join you in saying that there is no shame in discussing depression and mental illness. each time that people speak out, awareness increases and stigma fades.

Anil,

My daughter's mother attempted to kill me and abducted out daughter while in the midst of a psychotic break.

I found a listserv at the time, 1996 - 97, called MADNESS-L which was instrumental in helping me deal with the events as they unfolded over the course of several months.

I am currently writing out the events and subsequent events as a sort of journal for my daughter so that as she gets to be an adult she may be able to use it as a resource for reconstructing the days when she had a mother. The site is sort of sketchy right now as I have found a glitch in Userland's Radio but you may consider checking out the site as it relates directly to your post.

Best,

Christopher

Not being alone is so important. I like your call for us to share, particularly that we might share on forums where that isn't the primary concern.

I've posted a little in response on my blog at Deep Language

Anil,

I envy your courage to address such a topic. I've been hunting down information and searching for weblogs that might discuss this. I found it particularly interesting how you describe finding a community online through weblogs to share your life experiences with. Being someone who finds it very difficult to reach out and meet people, I've often looked to the Internet as a way (and a motivation) to write things down, share, and hopefully be heard.

Thanks for sharing,
Charlie

this diagnosed chronic/severe depression sufferer thanks you.

the disease has devastated generations of my family, and every day i meet people who are suffering from its effects, and yet i still come across the belief that it's some sort of moral weakness, cowardice, laziness, bourgeois conceit, etc. i thank you from the bottom of my heart for using your considerable verbal skills to educate people on this subject. hopefully our shared understanding of all forms of mental illness will come out of the dark ages and be accepted in our shared picture of the human condition as much as other diseases are beginning to be.

Prozac was my personal salvation. I did reach a point where it was no longer necessary. But I know it's there if I should ever need it again. And I was one of those people who thought "Jeez, nothing will ever help this." Luckily I was wrong.

I have come to expect almost incapacitating depressions every seven years or so. Sometimes they are fertile; sometimes they are just grindingly awful. But I have stopped believing they are entirely endogenous and arbitary. They all seem to have been triggered, in retropsect, by something in the world outside me. It is a maladaptive, painful, often useless reaction. But it is a reaction to something, and that is in soe way rather cheering to know, becasue when I am in grip, nothing seems connected to anything.

I recently started a blog dedicated in part to mental illness. It's a very personal account of how I am coming to understand my illness and my treatment of it. I wondered if there might be other blogs that deal with the topic, but this is the first one that I've found. I appreciate both the log and the subsequent commentary. If anyone's interested, they're welcome to visit and comment on what I'm creating.

I have a mental illness myself as well as having observed its' effects on a close family member.
I applaud your posting, Anil. You are clear, hopefull and encouraging.
I have one or two small doubts however, and they concern writing while in the throws of an episode of mental illness.
When I'm ill I don't write about my illness. Yet I yearn to read other people's accounts.
Depite some readers having difficulty finding bloggers who discuss their illness, I have read several pieces written by people who were so depressed they openly discuss their thoughts of suicide.
When I'm depressed and I read such things I DO feel less isolated, but also less inhibitted from suicidal thoughts myself,"Well, he or she thinks about it, why shouldn't I?"

I will follow what I think is your lead. I will try to write about mental illness only when I'm clear headed enough to offer sound advise and support to others. I fear sharing the horrible thoughts I have while 'unwell' will only add to destructive repetoir of thoughts other meatally ill people already have to endure.

I've suffered from depression all of my life, although I was only diagnosed 9 years ago. For the first year or so I tried several different medications & none really worked until I was put on Wellbutrin. SSRIs like Zoloft & Prozac made me too sleepy.

I went off it when my company switched medical plans and they no longer paid for it. I kept taking St. John's Wort and seemed to be OK, but I was slowly sliding back into depression. It got much worse in the last year. I didn't recognize it, but my friend's did. I was always in a foul mood, usually angry rather than feeling depressed. Finally I got a wakeup call early this year when I freaked out after I got a speeding ticket and ended up hospitalized. I'm now back on Wellbutrin and more like myself.

I agree that the blog is an excellent way to communicate with others. I'm trying to grow my business and help people with social-type mental illness. I think that there are smart people out there that can write software and maybe not be able to hold a job because of physical or social issues. I want to provide custom software development on a large scale and do this using people remotely.

Please visit http://www.prodigyfish.com/wordpress

David

Hi:) I really liked your blog. I feel for people with mental illnesses. I am so interested, I even chose helping people with mental disabilities as a topic for a project at my school. In my class, we are making our own blogs and PSA. My blog is about helping people who are mentally ill get off of the streets and collect resources.

Anyone interested in looking at my blog(very unfinished blog) is more than welcome.

My link is
http://homelessmentallyillinla.blogspot.com/

and please feel free to leave comments and suggestions.

thank you:)

Isnt that the truth? It would be so much easier to talk about it and spread the word if it wasnt so shunned and stigmatized.