happy birthday to me
September 5, 2002
I am kind of half-hoping to choke to death in a pool of my own vomit in the next 12 months. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love my life, and I would never want to give that up. But I'm kind of ambivalent about letting go of the rock star thing.
See, today's my birthday. I'm turning 27, which is when all the rock stars kick. Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, you know the litany. But I am still pretty convinced I'm young, and even more convinced that I've got mad motherfucking rock star style. There is, unfortunately, a bit of credible evidence to the contrary. Like the conspicuous lack of drugs and guitars in my life. Although I did take some Sudafed last week when my sinuses were acting up.
I'm not giving up yet, though. I might just be a folk rocker or something. It's still quite possible I'll soon find myself on a tour bus, not sure which town I'm going to or which one I just left, still reeling from the previous night's excesses and arranging for various types of aquatic creatures to be assembled in my suite for tonight's perverted display of bacchanalian hedonism. But if not, I figure my easy out will be to choke on a ham sandwich, thus proving what a goddamned rock star I am. That's my backup plan.
Well, I see my roadies are starting to assign tonight's prospective groupies into their categories, applying my careful taxonomy of wants, needs, preferences and depraved desires, so it's time for me to cut this short.
Meanwhile, thanks for reading. The past year has been the hardest, and most satisfying, of my entire life. I've truly never been happier to be alive, or more excited about my life. That's a present so good, you can't even put it on your Amazon wishlist. A happy birthday, indeed.
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Well, looks like I didn't choke to death in a pool of my own vomit. That's good news.... Read More
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Happy B-Day, Anil. I will handle the groupie-spillover, you rockstar you.
Well, a happy day to you!
Happy birthday, hope it's a good one.
Dude! You're a p0rn star!
Dude, you're old! Drink some Metamucil for moi!
I'm sorry, Oliver. Anil's rider specifically states that any groupie spillover is designated to a Mr. B.C. I can't make out anything else, but the address looks like it's uptown, maybe even Harlem.
He's not a porn star, Fan Club P., and since all the negatives and dubbed copies of that bootleg have been destroyed or placed under court order, I'll ask you to withdraw that statement.
Stan: Our consultants have bigger plans for the Dash brand. Initial plans did involve a prune-based drink, but have fallen through from what I hear. We'll keep you in the loop on his product-endorsement schedule for a small fee. Um, Oliver might be handling that, actually ...
But forget all that B.C. business. You know, and I know, that every year is a good one when you're counting it as A.D.
hey, happy birthday! you're just a late blooming rock star, is all.
If the rock star thing doesn't work out there's still the slow alcoholic middle-aged literary demise.
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday!
Look on the bright side, if you make it past 27, you can look forward to dying at 32, which will put you in pretty good company: Jesus, Alexander the Great, Joyce Kilmer and Rob Pilatus (but apparently not that deadat32.com guy).
Happy birthday, Anil! I keep forgetting that I am almost a year older than you. If you think 27 is bad, wait until you turn 28 (like I do on Monday). I'm now 10 years older than all the little Freshmen college students I supervise.
Happy Birthday. The weather here today is great too! That's gotta be a gift from ... The Weather Channel.
Happy birthday, Anil!
Happy birthday! I owe you a coke.
Happy Birthday Anil! :)
Be glad you're not turning 30 next year :(
Happy b-day. You get funnier (in a good way!) every year.
Happy birthday!
> I've truly never been happier to be alive, or more excited
> about my life. That's a present so good, you can't even put
> it on your Amazon wishlist.
No. I guess you'll hafta put "Puddle of my own vomit" on there instead.
Happy Bday!
Damn you. I thought you were 28 turning 29. This ruins everything. Everything!
Oh, sweetie. You don't even look a day over 34. Happy birthday.
Happy Birthday Anil. :)
Happy Birthday Anil. :)
Happy Birthday, Anil. :)
Have a happy one and enjoy 27. It's 3*9!
Happy Birthday, Anil. :)
Hope it's been a great birthday...enjoy.
[ANIL IS GOOD]
Oy, you kids today, with your birthdays and your groupies and your fisting.
Happy Birthday!
J.
oh my god. i'm late. well, where i live it's still your birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY Anil.
:o)
And many more too.
enjoy more sudafed in year 27!
Well, I'm a bit redundant at this point, but Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday !
Have a good Birthday weekend !
I had briefly seen your site before.
I was really glad to see that I was not the only one to be appalled by the LGF website.
And yes it's true, the guy had good web design ideas. Now he just attracts a coterie of bigots...
Anil, you're my rock star hero. Don't die! Happy birthday and here's hoping you grow very old and very wise, but still get back together with the boys for the Farewell Tour every five years or so.
happy b-day, anil. it's better to
burn out, than fade away ...
happy birthday dude!
Don't forget Robert Johnson, the *original* rockstar, who died either by poison at the hands of the bar owner who's wife Robert was diddling or some bad voodoo by jealous guitarists, according to legend, anyway. Age 27. Besides, what do you need to be a rockstar for, you already apparently have all the bloggroupies any man could want. Happy birthday anyway.
Happy Belated Birthday!
This is fun. I turned 27 on Sept. 3rd. I live in NYC. I'm a web programmer... AND... I have an obsessive love for Prince.
Are we related?
cruise right past 27. those who drop off there aren't up to making their first saturn return. next chance to fall short comes at 53. lotsa older rock stars kicked it at that point.
Happy birthday.
I have been married longer than you have been alive.
Happy Birthday. Sorry this is a day late but that is how I am sometimes. A day late and always a dollar short. Oh yeah, quit bitching you're not even 30 yet.
Hope you had a wonderful day.
Congratulations! Happy Birthday, Anil! You have done a great job until today. Looking forward for more to come ...
Hope you had a magnificent birthday and here's to many more! Cheers!
Congrats, either way. Except, to live the mad rockstar lifestyle, don't you need to do a lot of drugs or at least drink? In the few times we've socialized together, I've never seen you drink anything harder than apple juice. Anyway, try turning 38 and then complain to me about feeling old.
Oh, btw, Robert Johnson, King of the Delta Blues, also died at 27, allegedly of either a voodoo curse or by poison at the hands of a lover's jealous husband. Both seem like cooler ways to go than choking on your own vomit.