On my first day at Chicago Today, I made the mistake of going to the men's room. There, I saw a guy brushing his teeth over the toilet. But that was nothing. A reporter... finished relieving himself at the man-only appliance and then took his happy willy to the sink and aggressively washed it. I then understood why the other guy didn't want to brush his teeth there.

Bonus points to Jeff for being exactly the sort of guy who can use the phrase "man-only applicance" non-ironically and have it work for him. I'm just going to preemptively redact my own pithy anecdotes about the ink-stained wretches I've worked with.