August 31, 1999
Ask.com ponders the unanswerables. Since being renamed from Ask Jeeves, one of my favorite search sites, ask.com, has taken on what I feel could be an overwhelming responsibility.
You see, with a name as broad as "Ask.com", I feel that an Internet newbie might mistake the site for some sort of electronic Oracle of Delphi. So I decided to query the site with a few of the great questions of all time, and here were it's suggestions for questions that it had answers to.
Why Do Fools Fall In Love?
This one it handled well. Suggestions included "Am I in love?", "Where is the fun web site 'Love Calculator'?", "What is Love?" (Where's Haddaway when you need him?), and most amusingly, "Where can I get safety tips on the topic of falls?" which somehow seems oddly appropriate.
Having handled the first question with aplomb, I moved on to a tougher one: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Unfortunately, this one it nailed. It spit back a site written just to answer that question, which I think was a little unfair.
Having failed at this point to come up with any responses which were even vaguely amusing, I decided it was time to try harder. Hence, "Who's Your Daddy?"
Wasn't even worth the effort. Result? A page of links about fatherhood. It's as if those bastards at ask.com don't even care about my lame attempts at Internet humor.